


Two Words: Black Bikini

by ChelsaRegal



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Cute, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Swan Queen - Freeform, Swan-Mills Family, Swen - Freeform, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-01 00:42:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15131324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChelsaRegal/pseuds/ChelsaRegal
Summary: What happens when Emma breaks the news to Regina that she bought a pool?Follow these two ladies' texts for fun, flirty times!





	1. Chapter 1

Sunday, July 1st  
Emma (12:46p): Hey Gina.

Regina(12:47p): I told you to never call me that. 

Emma(12:48p): But whyyy, Gina? It sounds so cute? 

Regina(12:50p): I am not cute. And you just sound whiny. 

Emma(12:52p): I will deny both of those statements to the death. 

Regina(12:52p): Child. Smh.

Emma(12:53p): Hey! What u know about ‘smh’? I had to tell you what ‘milf’ meant yesterday. 

Regina(12:57p): I have educated myself since then. I’m not going through that debacle ever again. 

Regina(12:58p): We were in public Emma!

Emma(1:00p): Don’t ask crazy questions in broad daylight in the middle of Granny’s woman! 

Emma(1:05p): Besides, it wasn’t ur nose the milkshake spewed from. 

Emma(1:10p): But I am kinda sorry that some hit you. 

Regina(1:11p): SOME?

Emma(1:11p): OK. Most? 

Regina(1:13p): …

Emma(1:15p): All? Don’t hurt me now… we’ve been through too much?? 

Regina(1:20p): What did you want anyway? I’m working on reports.

Emma(1:21): It’s Sunday, Regina. 

Regina(1:22p): Your point? 

Emma(1:25p): Whatever. I was thinking about community pools. 

Regina(1:27p): Ew. Why? 

Emma(1:28p): What you mean “ew”, woman? 

Regina(1:31p): Stop calling me that! I’m not your woman. 

Regina(1:33p): I mean….

Emma(1:36p): Hmmm?

Regina(1:37p): nvm. 

Emma(4:01p): Ok… sooo… anyway, back to the pool. 

Regina(4:03p): Yes, why were you thinking about a public germ infestation? 

Emma(4:05p): Well, now I know why Storybrooke doesn’t have one. 

Emma(4:07p): How do you feel about pools in general…. Like a personal pool… a backyard pool??

Regina(4:08p): Why?

Emma(4:08p): Just wondering. 

Regina(4:09p): What did you do Miss Swan?

Emma(4:11p): Geez! Oh, ye of little faith.

Regina(4:14): …You do know I can get it out of Henry, right. 

Regina (4:14p): He’s doing his homework beside me right now. 

Emma(4:15p): Ummm. 

Regina(4:16p): Did you buy a pool? You know you need a place to put it, right? Last I heard you still lived with your parents. In an apartment.

Regina(4:20p): Did you buy a pool for my house?

Emma(4:21p):….

Emma(4:22p): Did you get to finish your reports? 

Regina(4:22p): Swaaaann!!!

Emma(4:24p): Regiinaaa! Don’t put images of Evil Gina in my head! She was so adorable and sexy! 

Regina(4:30p): Get back on track, Emma. And stop whining. 

Regina(4:31p): What have you done? 

Emma(4:33p): You’re blushing aren’t you? I bet u are ;)

Emma(4:34p): I was just looking through a magazine. You know it’s summer, right? The time when everyone has fun and wears bathing suits on the weekend? Like Sundays?

Regina(4:37p): What are you getting at, dear?

Emma(4:38p): Just that I’ve never seen you in a bathing suit. 

Emma (4:39p): Aaaand… what better way to fix that than a personal pool? A backyard pool if you will. 

Regina (4:40p): Oh, I won’t. 

Emma(4:45p): Gina. Please. It’s not about the pool, is it?

Regina (4:50p): Remind me why I should tell you?

Emma(4:51p): Come on, Gina. We really have been through a lot, you know?

Emma(5:00p): Besides. I’ve got 2 words for you…. Black. Bikini. 

Emma (5:01p): You will look amazing, Regina. As always. 

Regina(5:05p): You don’t know that, Emma. I am 60… something! We can’t all be 30 and flirty and thriving!

Emma(5:07p): That was the dumbest thing you have ever said. 

Emma (5:08p): And you need to stop with the 13 Going on 30 references. 

Regina (5:08p): But I love that movie! 

Emma (5:10p): Now who’s being whiny huh?

Emma (5:40p): The point is is that you are hella fine, woman! Like a goddess. Like shining bright like a diamond. 

Emma (5:42p): Not to leave out your compassion, wittiness, and love for those around you. 

Emma (5:42p)Well… most of us… several… a good handful of us? 

Emma (5:43p): Mostly me and Henry… but it’s not a competition. 

Regina (5:50p): So, I take it you bought me a pool? 

Emma (6:01p): You r exhausting, ya know that?

Regina(6:03p): I may have been told once upon a time. What did I tell you about the “woman” thing, Miss Swan?

Emma(6:04p): What if you were mine, Gina. 

Regina (6:05p): I think that can be arranged. My house 7 sharp?

Emma (6:07p): What if I had plans?

Regina(6:10p):Black bikini, huh? 

Emma (6:11p): What am I getting myself into? Smh. Omw.


	2. After Dinner

Emma(9:10a): So… dinner was nice.

Regina (9:15a): Of course it was. I made it. 

Emma (9:20a): Those legs were delicious.

Regina(9:22a): Do you have short term memory? We had steak. 

Emma (9:25a): Wasn’t talking about the food. 

Regina (9:40a):Are you serious? Is this how it will be from now on? 

Emma (9:42a): If those legs keep walking my way… God, I hope so. 

Emma(10:00a): Ok. I’ll try to stop. 

Regina (10:05a): I am dating a dork. 

Emma (10:06a): got u blushing though, huh? And during working hours too! Tsk, tsk, Gina. 

Regina (10:08a): You are on probation, Miss Swan. 

Emma (11:30a): Hol’ up! What?! Someone actually needed the sherriff for an hour and I come back to this?!

Emma(11:32a):That ain’t right, Regina. That ain’t right. Smh.

Regina (11:34a): Can you control yourself?

Emma(11:35a): I will. I can. For heaven’s sakes, I do!

Emma (11:35a): ummm…well... I know it’s too early for that. But damn, woman! 

Regina (11:37a): Are you SURE you have no memory loss? 

Emma (11:38a): Hey! You agreed that you would be mine. You backin’ out on me? It’s been like…. 16 hours since dinner. 

Regina(11:58a): No Emma. I’m not backing out. 

Emma (12:00p): Why did you hesitate? That pause had me hella scared. 

Regina(12:03p): I thought you would like lunch. I’m in line now. 

Emma(12:04p): Ooohhh. What ya bringing me, Gina? It smells like an apology for calling me a loveable dork. 

Regina (12:08p): I did NOT say loveable. 

Emma(12:09p) Po-TAY-to. Po-TAH-to. 

Regina(12:14p): ….

Emma (12:15p): So I’m a dork. I get it. Who cares? What are you bringing me for lunch?

Regina (12:16p): The 1st step is admittance, dear. And it’s a need-to-know. 

Emma (12:17p): I hate that phrase. Like, I’m the police! I always need to know Regina. 

Regina (12:19): I knew it… the memory loss is high with this one. 

Regina (12:20p) You just told me that I didn’t need to know why you borrowed my credit card last week. “It’s for Henry,” you said. “Don’t worry,” you said. 

Emma (12:22p): hmm. You’re right… I don’t recall that. 

Regina(12:23p): YOU BOUGHT A BIG ASS POOL EMMA!

Emma (12:24p): Who dis?

Regina (12:25): You don’t want lunch do you? Your nicely wrapped grilled cheese is 2 inches away from meeting his buddy Mr. Ben. 

Emma (12:26p): Ben? 

Regina(12:27p): Yes, dear. First name Garbage. 

Emma (12:28p): *nervous chuckle* Got jokes huh? 

Regina (12:31p): I don’t joke. 

Emma(12:34p). Regiinaaaa. Not the melty cheese! 

Regina (12:35p): Aaaand we’re back to the wining. 

 

Emma(12:36p): Can’t u forgive and forget? 

Regina(12:37p): I’ll forgive, yes. But you can forget the string black bikini that is in a certain online shopping cart of mine. 

Emma (12:39p): Thank you for that gorgeous image that is now burned behind my eyelids. But I need the real thing, Gina. 

Emma(12:50p): Regina. Please. I’m not above begging.

Regina(12:51p): We’ll see. I do like where this is going. 

Emma(12:52p): Not sure if I’m begging for my food or that suit at the moment… 

Emma (12:53p): At this point 1. I’m hungry. Sheriff’s gotta eat, Gina. 

Emma (12:54p): And 2. I miss you.

Emma (12:54p): And your cuddles too. I need me some cuddles today. 

Regina (12:55p): I don’t cuddle.

Emma(12:56p): I’ll take whatever you give me. Like, You da boss, lady. 

Regina(12:59p): Flattery may get you the chance to click ‘submit order’. 

Regina (1:00p): I’ll heat your dumb melty cheese.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for those who are sticking with me!


	3. Chapter 3

Tuesday, July 3rd . 

 

Regina(9:01a): I left something for you on your desk. 

Emma(9:02a): Oooh! *Eyes closed, fingers crossed* Please be a bearclaw wrapped in bacon!

Regina(9:04a): Why would I try to kill you? I sort of like you now. 

Emma(9:05a): I changed my mind. Next best thing is you naked.

Emma(9:05a): Please say it’s you NAKED! 

Regina: …. 

Regina(9:10a): I don’t like that I’m second to a heart attack wrapped in fat, Sheriff. 

Emma(9:12a): Well, I’ve yet to see you naked… sooo *shrugs* I call ‘em like I see ‘em. 

Emma(9:13a): And until I see ‘em….. this is how I call ‘em. 

Regina(9:15a): Very eloquent, dear. And you should hope to be so lucky to ever see ‘em. 

Regina(9:16a): We haven’t even kissed. No thanks to you. 

Emma(9:18a): You make me nervous, ok? Have you SEEN you? 

Regina(9:20a): You freaked out. 

Emma(9:21a): I was NERVOUS! 

Regina(9:23a): You nose-bumped me, overcorrected too far and pecked my eye. 

Regina(9:24a): It was sort of sweet the way you went to remove a strand of hair from my face afterwards…. Until you punched my boob while lifting your arm. 

Emma(9:40a): Damn. That is pretty sad. 

Regina(9:41a): You shook my hand and left, Emma. 

Emma(9:42a): Tried to. 

Regina(9:44a): I didn’t start to laugh until the bug wouldn’t start. 

Emma(9:46a): Yeah. I need to pick that up some time today. 

Regina(9:46a): LMAO!! You should’ve seen your face! 

Emma(10:0pa): It’s been a crazy week ok!?!

Emma(10:02a): Y U gotta do this stuff when I’m out on a call?

Emma(10:03a): Gina. Please just tell me what you left me. I’m dying over here. Leroy is making my day hell. Like seriously, I’ve been here all morning. And he’s making my superpower ping like crazy as it is. 

Regina (10:05a): What did he do now?

Emma(10:06a): Just know it’s disturbing to the eye. 

Regina(10:07a): If you want, I can make it illegal and back date the paperwork so it looks like he was breaking a well-known law. 

Emma(10:08): You would do that? For me?

Regina(10:10a): I would do most things for you, dear. Within reason.

Regina(10:12a): If you tell anyone… Probation still stands. 

Emma(10:20a): Ok. Ok. Hand off the trigger, Camila Vargas. I won’t tell, geez. 

Regina(10:28a): I told you no Queen of the South spoilers! I’m only on season 1!!! 

Emma(10:32a): I said nothing. Besides, I’m the Pote in this relationship anyway. Quiet, but deadly. 

Regina(10:33a): Sooo… You’re a fart? *chuckles* 

Regina(10:35a): I’m now dating a flatulent child. 

Emma(10:38a): Aww, you would still date me, huh?

Emma (10:40a): I should’ve gone with… the silent savior. Damn, that had a nice ring to it too. Smh. 

Emma(11:00a): Back to Leroy.. if you must know. In his drunken state last night, he climbed a tree.

Regina(11:01a): That sounds about right. 

Emma(11:03a): Wrapped himself around a high branch like a pretzel. 

Regina(11:05a): Just untie the knot and go home, Emma. 

Emma(11:10a): Leroy is nude, Gina. 

Regina(11:13a): Do NOT put my name in the same sentence as a naked dwarf, Swan!!

Emma(11:15): At least you can’t see it. 

Emma(11:16a): You know what “it” I’m talkin about. 

 

Emma(11:45a): If you were on my desk right now. That would really brighten my day. 

Emma(11:47a): Clothed, even. Idc at this point. I had to go home, shower, and try to wash away the-thing-which-cannot-be-unseen. 

Regina(11:52a): Sorry to disappoint, Miss Swan, but I am currently in my study. And have been all morning. 

Emma(12:00p): But I am disappointed, Gina. I am. I’m heading back to the station now. 

Regina(12:02p): Just because I agreed to date you does not mean we must see each other every day, Emma. 

Emma(12:04p): Agreed??? O.o

Emma (12:05p): You basically suggested it yourself, woman!

Regina(12:06p): Don’t push it, Swan.

 

Emma(12:10p): So. What did you ‘poof’ me? 

Regina(12:11p): Shouldn’t you be at the station by now? Or did you get held up by another naked mole rat? 

Emma(12:13p): Oh God, Gina! How did you know he had moles?!!! Those moles don’t get sun Gina!!

Emma (12:14p): nvm. Please don’t tell me. Let’s just forget this ever happened. 

Emma(12:15p): Ugh. Finally @ station now. 

Emma(12:18): You left me a Snow White’s head stress ball? 

Regina(12:20p): I guarantee it works ;) 

Regina (2:00p): Will you be coming to dinner?

Emma (2:02p): I could eat. 

Regina (2:03p): I’ll wear slacks. 

Emma (2:07p): Nooo! Ginaaa! I want legs. 

Regina(2:10p): But I want you to be comfortable, Emma. 

Emma (2:12p): Fine, I want a proper kiss too… sooo skinny jeans or nothing. 

Emma (2:13p): Well, maybe not nothing, yet. Henry will be there and I ain’t trying to have a heart attack in my thirties. 

Regina(2:20p): I have the perfect pair of jeggings in mind. 

Emma(2:25p): Those are even more skin tight. Are you sure you’re not trying to kill me?!

Regina (2:27p): Wasn’t it you that completed the order for the bikini? How ever will you survive?

Regina (2:30p): See you tonight, Miss Swan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 has been edited... not sure what happened.


	4. Jealous Gina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mishap at the diner leads to silly times on Firework Day!

Wednesday, July 4th

Sheriff Stupid: I’m sorry. 

\-- It was a mistake. 

\--I know u see me sweating bullets over here. 

\--I mean… I’m at Granny’s…. You’re at Granny’s. 

\--And Granny herself is being hella snoopy. 

\--Just look at the old lady’s head. She looks like she’s watching a tennis match from watching me text you then hearing you scoff afterwards. You’re gonna give her arthritis. 

Sheriff: I see that smirk. I love your smirk. I miss you, Regina. 

Regina: Please. I spoke to you 10 minutes ago, Swan. 

Sheriff: But that was before you abandoned me and threw me to the literal wolf that is Ruby!

\--I’m an innocent. 

\--Put your eyebrow down. You know it’s true. 

\--I didn’t even do anything. 

Regina: Exactly! You didn’t DO anything!

Sheriff: Why would I?

Regina: I’m leaving. Tell your side piece I need my check. 

Sheriff: Are you seriously this mad at Rubes?

Regina: You didn’t even deny it! Smh. Bye, Sheriff. 

Sheriff: Wait, what? Are you kidding! That’s gross, Gina. I would NEVER be with Ruby. 

\-- I only want you. In all meanings of the word. 

Regina: You let her touch you. 

Swan: She touched by arm. 

Regina: You said, “Ruby, feel my big muscles!”…She then squeezed your bicep and said “Ooohh, now that’s my sexy Swan.” 

Emma: So? She’s my best friend. 

Regina: You then lifted up your shirt and told her to count your abs. 

Regina: And she didn’t just “count”, either. You let her caress your stomach. 

Swan: It was a pat at the most, Gina. 

Regina: I was sitting RIGHT THERE, Emma! I assumed you knew that since your hand was on my leg. 

Swan: My hand WAS on your leg. You are my woman. I can touch those incredible legs whenever you let me, no one else can do that. 

Regina: I’m not the only one that is possessive I see. 

Swan: Did you have to push me out the booth and go sit at another table? 

Regina: I was sick of watching my present company being groped, so yes. I did have to. 

\--Present company being the dumb woman I am currently dating. 

Swan: But Mary Margaret? You left me to go sit with her?

Regina: Your point? She and I are friends. This week. 

Swan: Riiiight. Last Tuesday you made her pee rainbow colored. She thought she had about 12 different illnesses after searching google. 

\--What did she do to warrant that? 

Regina: She… well, she… shut up, Swan. 

Swan: You told her she had ROY G. BIV-itis. She trusted you. 

Regina: I told her I had the antidote. 

Swan: You mean the one you made up? You told her she had to kiss the beak of a toucan and promise him to never eat Froot Loops again. 

\--You also said if she failed in 2 hours to complete her quest that she would have rainbow colored poop for life. 

Regina: That’s beside the point, dear. 

Emma: Those were MY Froot Loops! She threw away my Loops, Gina!  
\--Did she even know it was you? Maybe I should tell her. 

Regina: When that bathing suit arrives. I think I’ll return it. Marked ‘order made by mistake’. 

Emma: That ain’t right.   
\--Can I come over there and apologize correctly? 

Regina: If you must. 

Emma: We’re still going to watch the fireworks tonight right?  
\--I have the perfect blanket for cuddles under the stars. 

Regina: You know I don’t cuddle, Swan. Besides, you most likely cuddle with whoever rubs your muscles the right way. 

Emma: Cuddler. Body heat snatcher. Whatever you wanna call it.   
\--And I don’t WANT anyone else. Ever. 

\--Meet me at the docks tonight? Our bench@8:30? 

Regina: I’ll bring wine and dessert. But you are on thin ice, Miss Swan.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback. It means so much to me. I hope you all like this chapter as well!

Saturday, July 7th.

Emma:  
The pool is here.

Regina:  
Where? I don’t believe I’ve received a 100lb package, Miss Swan. 

Emma:  
You haven’t.

Regina:  
Ok…..

Emma:  
I had it shipped to the apartment. 

Regina:  
And that made sense to you? To have a heavy package shipped across town from its destination?

Regina:  
The destination which happens to be my back lawn? 

Emma:  
Hey! If it showed up at yours who’s to say it wouldn’t have ended up a melted pile of plastic? 

Regina:  
I take offense to that. I told you I would give it a chance, correct?

Emma:  
I guess so. 

Regina:  
I did not buy a bikini for no reason, Swan. 

Emma:  
So it wasn’t just so I could look at your hot self?

Regina:  
Of course not. 

Emma:  
You will look so gorgeous and make me feel like the absolute LUCKIEST woman in Storybrooke. 

Regina:  
Only in Storybrooke?

Emma:  
Did I say just Storybrooke? I meant the country. The world…. The universe. 

Emma:  
I can’t wait until I get this thing set up and see you lounging pool-side…..

Emma:  
Body on display for me….

Emma:  
Those tan legs glistening after a quick dip in the water. 

Emma:  
Shades on….

Emma:  
Smelling like expensive suntan lotion. 

Regina:  
You are getting distracted, Emma. 

Emma:  
Am not. My thoughts are right where they need to be… focused on my woman. 

Regina:  
I’m not sure if I want to argue with you, tempting as it is. 

Emma:  
So anyway… I’ll have David help me with this giant ass package.

Regina:  
NEVER mention your father and package in the same sentence. 

Regina:  
Are you trying to give me nightmares? Because I’ve seen some things but that is quite disturbing. 

Emma:  
I heard you tried to seduce him when he woke from that coma. 

Regina:  
Oh God, why? And why would he tell you? 

Emma:  
You made him lasagna, Gina! MY lasagna! 

Regina:  
So. 

Emma:  
Did you make use your secret ingredient? 

Regina:  
Maybe. I may have also told him what it was. 

Emma:  
REGINA!! How could you! 

Regina:  
Stop acting like I cheated on you. I hardly even tolerate Charming.

Emma:  
Fine. I’ll have to think of a way for u to make it up to me. 

Regina:  
Firstly, I didn’t do anything wrong. And secondly, I was just trying to distract him from Snow’s curse-threatening rainbow butt. 

Emma:  
Gross, Gina. Just gross. 

Regina:  
I bet she doesn’t own a bikini. She probably wears a tie-dyed swim dress with a unicorn across the front. “Animal Equality” plastered underneath. 

Emma:  
She told me you bought her that suit. 

Regina:  
Can you blame me? It was her birthday. She loved it. 

Emma:  
So… what time do you want me to come today?

Regina:  
Oh, Miss Swan. I want you all the time. 

Emma:  
Gina, don’t get me worked up with your flirty shit. My parents are in the room. 

Regina:  
Oooh, kinky. 

Emma:  
I think I just barfed a little. 

Regina:  
Don’t worry… I can be quiet. 

Emma:  
Please stop. 

Regina:  
You’re blushing aren’t you?

Emma:  
Is there a mirror in here? Are you spying on me?

Regina:  
No. Not today. Your mother just asked me if I have made you upset after she saw your face. 

Regina:  
Perhaps you should tell her you were imagining my hot, glistening body wet from the pool.

Regina:  
Well, the pool may not be the only reason I’m wet if we’re going by my own fantasies…..

Emma: Please stop, Regina. 

Regina:  
But didn’t you want me spread out on a lounge chair as you smooth tanning lotion on my back? 

Emma:  
Maybe? You’re killing me here. 

Regina:  
Did I mention that my string bikini arrived this morning? 

Emma:  
Um nope. Def would’ve remembered that.

 

Regina:  
It fits. In a barely covering the right places kind of way. 

Emma:  
Why are u torturing me? 

Regina:  
Snow just told me you look like kicked puppy. She told me to stop whatever it is I’m doing to you. 

***Incoming call from Gina***

“H…hello?” Emma tentatively answered the phone in her hand that was shaking from desire and lust for the woman at the other end of the line. 

“Hello, darling”, the gravelly voice of her girlfriend answered. “Tell Snow that I cannot wait to feel your eyes on me… your hands on me as we slide against each other in the pool.”

Emma let out a small squeak and desperately tried to avoid her mother’s questioning look.  
“Gina, please,” was all she could say in her current lust-induced state. 

A deep chuckle was heard over the line.  
“Bring Charming around after this call to set up the pool. Henry can help as well,” replied Regina. 

“Mhmm, got it,” Emma mumbled.

“See you, Swan. Just give me a moment to put my clothes back on and take off this bathing suit,” teased Regina. 

“You’re really killing me, Gina, you know that?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Emma get distracted during a council meeting.

Thursday July 12th 

 

Emma:  
I miss you already. 

Regina:  
I'm literally looking right at you.

Emma:  
This council meeting SUCKS though. 

Regina:   
As true as that is, you need to pay attention Sherriff-of-this- fine- town. 

Emma:  
I miss the Gina from last night. She was fun. When will she be back?

Regina:   
She's at work. 

Emma:   
Oh yeah. She's the mayor of this screwed up town. Why are you sitting so far away from me anyway? Shouldn't we appear as a united front?

Regina:   
I don't trust you to keep your hands to yourself. 

Emma:   
Gina from last night was just as handsy as me.

Regina:   
Maybe I don't trust myself. 

Emma:   
You shouldn't. You were like an octopus. 

Regina:   
So help me…

Emma:  
Rolling your eyes does not make the statement less true. 

Regina:  
Last night was a reward. A thank you for installing the pool. Or helping install it anyway. Henry did most of the work. 

Emma: Lies!

Emma:   
And why didn’t we get in the pool last night? 

Regina:   
It had to fill up overnight. 

Emma:   
I would've liked to feel you up overnight. 

Emma   
We could've skinny-dipped in the shallows. Like a giant-assed bathtub!

Regina:  
Read my lips, Swan.   
(Shakes head when Emma looks up) 

Emma:   
You could've just typed smh. You didn't even say anything. 

Regina:  
You would have missed the full effect, dear. We are in the same room after all. 

Regina:  
Pay attention. 

Emma:  
I'd rather pay attention to my woman's every lustful desires. 

Regina:  
Miss Swan pay attention to the speaker. 

Emma:  
Those boobs are speaking to me right now. 

Regina:  
Swan, restrain yourself before I come across the table and do it myself. 

Emma:   
I would love to make you come across the table ;)

Emma:   
I'm also a fan of restraints. I'll do whatever brings you pleasure. 

Regina:  
Is this an appropriate conversation while your parents are in the same room? 

Emma:   
I bet if I disappeared under the table they wouldn't miss me. Look at them… debating with Granny over the perfect bulb wattage” for the B&B. 

Regina:  
And what would you be doing under the table may I ask?

Emma:  
Don't worry… it'll feel amazing. Trust me. 

Regina:  
Emma, stop teasing.

EMMAV  
OH I’m serious, Regina. 

Regina:   
Really? You JUST got comfortable kissing me while also copping a feel.

Regina:  
I don't think you could handle me or the strength of my thighs. 

Emma:   
Regina, stop teasing . 

Emma:  
If anything you would need to control your volume from enjoying the way I can handle things. 

Emma:  
Everyone in this room knows just how loud you can be when voicing your opinion on what you are passionate about. 

Regina:  
Don't test me, dear. 

Emma:  
Mmm. Tempting.

Emma:   
It couldn't get any more boring in here. Why aren't we in the conference room, anyway?

Regina:  
Your mother thought the council sat too far away from one another. That's why we are in a smaller room… better to hear and hopefully communicate effectively without ignoring each other. 

Emma:  
Ok.. we've been ignoring everyone since the meeting began. But you sound like to you don't mind. 

Regina:  
This plan has its benefits. For instance, we are close but you are just out of my reach . 

Emma:  
And this is good why?

Emma:  
Please tell me that's your foot because I will murder Leroy if that's him trying to be a sneaky lil troll. 

Regina:   
Maybe. Maybe not. 

Emma:  
So… the foot now feels more like a hand traveling up my leg. 

Emma:  
It's squeezing my thigh. 

Emma:   
Regina, please tell me it's you! I'm dying over here and I want to be able to enjoy this. 

Regina:  
Can you feel my fingers playing with your zipper? 

Emma:  
Yes. And you have got to teach me this trick.

Regina:   
Good. Moving on now up to dip into your belly button. 

Emma:  
What you moving on for, woman! 

Emma:  
You can politely move back down 3 inches! 

Regina:   
Now, Miss Swan. Do you want to spice up this meeting or not? 

Emma:  
Continue with your torture then. I can take it. 

Regina:  
I love your abs, dear. I think I'll stay here for a while. 

Emma:   
Giinaaa.

Regina: Yes? 

Emma:  
Did u just poof into your swimsuit? 

Regina:  
Close you're mouth and put your eyes back in their sockets. 

Emma:  
You're naked! In public! At work! 

Regina:  
Only you can see me like this. It's a glamor spell just for you. 

Regina:  
And you wish I were naked. 

Emma:   
Damn straight u tease! Get over here.

Regina:   
I'm comfortable here, thank you. 

Emma:  
I'm will never sit across the table from you again. I will not be subjected to this torture every month. 

 

Regina:  
But did you die?

Emma:  
…..

Emma:  
I can't believe this. 

Regina:  
You said you like my cuddles. This is how I cuddle. 

Emma:  
This ain't cuddling, lady. You aren't even properly touching me. This is straight up blue balling me. 

Regina:  
Em-ma I would never give you balls. A magical penis perhaps if our relationship becomes sexual.

Emma:   
So you just had a magical hand toying with the zip to my jeans… the hand that is currently circling the rim of my belly button and darting inside it….. and you are unsure if we will have a sexual relationship?

Regina:  
And? I was trying to consider your feelings and not rush into anything. 

Regina:   
Unlike you Miss I-would-rather-be-between-your-thighs Swan. 

Emma:  
Did I mention you are in a string bikini in a crowded office for only me to ogle at? 

Emma:   
Oh, and I can see your nipples through that top now sooo… thanks for that extra push for the lady blue balls. 

Regina:  
This was just a taste anyway. 

Emma:  
Dafuq u mean a taste?

Regina:  
See? Fully clothed once more 

Regina:   
Is that better? 

Emma:   
As much as I loved all that tan skin on display… yes. 

Emma:  
Besides, when we get released from this meeting we can go for a swim right?

Regina:  
I suppose. I'm sure Henry would love to dive in. 

Emma:   
Ain't nobody inviting the Kid.

Regina:  
And why not invite our son to the pool he practically had to set up himself?

Emma:  
Because I have my own places I want to dive into when I get you in that suit.

Emma:   
And Hey! I helped!

Emma:  
You were distracting me with those tight Jean shorts! When did u even BUY those?

Regina:  
I'm not all pantsuits and trenchcoats, Miss Swan. 

Emma:   
Apparently.

Regina:  
I also have a delicious stock of leather pants and corsets from my Evil Queen days. 

Emma:  
Mmmm.. roleplay later?

Regina:  
No. Later, we swim with our son. 

Regina:  
Tonight we send our son to a friend’s house.

Emma:  
Skinny-dipping it is. 

Regina  
It's cute that you think you could handle that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! Sorry it's been so long. This was a slight filler chapter. The pool's up tho. I lost my focus for a bit.   
> But I promise more random hilarity in the chapters to come!


	7. Sneaky Freaks

Friday, July 20th

 

 

Emma(2:30p):  
Do you know what time it is?

Regina(2:33p):  
The answer to that is at the top right of your phone, dear.  
  
Emma(2:34p):  
Har-har. No one likes a smartass, Regina.

Regina(2:37p):  
So that wasn't you staring at my ass yesterday?

Emma(3:39p):  
Mmm . You should know that I can't resist. It was practically staring at _me_.

Emma(2:39p):  
Don't forget you were the one with her assets in the air while laying out by the pool.

Emma(2:40p):  
Rub lotion on my back, Emma. You said.

Emma(2:41p):  
Don't miss a single spot, you said.

Regina(2:44p):  
I said my back. Not backside.

Emma(2:45p):  
An opportunity presented itself and I took advantage of it. Nothing wrong with that.

Emma(2:46p):  
“This is America.”- Childish Gambino.

Regina(2:47p):  
You groped me in front of our son, Emma.

Emma(2:48p):  
That was nothing. So I goosed you…. The kid has def seen worse from my parents.

Emma(2:50p):  
Did I tell you about the night Henry and I caught them bumping uglies?

Emma(2:52p):  
Ugh… I know I haven't… Cuz just thinking about it made me sick :(

Regina(2:54p):  
Henry will never stay the night with them again. They should be able to control themselves when children are living with them.

Emma(2:56p):  
What about me? Don't you care if I have to stay there?

Regina (2:57p):  
I was referring to you, dear. You and Henry _are_  my children.

Emma(2:58p):  
Hey! I was traumatized myself.

Emma(2:59p):  
There r things I cannot unsee.

Emma(3:01p):  
I never would've thought David was that flexible.

Emma(3:03p):  
We heard buzzing, Gina. Henry didn't know what it meant at the time… I really wish I didn't either.

Regina(3:10p):  
Are you quite finished?

Emma(3:15p):  
Yup. Just had to give an offering to the porcelain goddess.

Regina(3:17p):  
You did it to yourself.

Emma(3:18p):  
Can you whip up a forgetting potion?

Regina(3:20p):  
Nope ;p  
You'll have to let sleeping parents lie.

Regina(3:22p):  
Are you going to tell me what time it is? Or just continue picturing the 2 idiots in coital bliss.

Emma(3:24p):  
Wasn't anything blissful about it.

Emma(3:25p):  
Looked pretty painful on David's part.

Regina (3:30p):  
I always knew Snow would be a sneaky freak.

Emma (3:33p):  
Oh God. Why would u know that?

Regina (3:35p):  
You forget. I was her stepmother through her puberty years.

Regina (3:37p):  
She had a habit of asking how different animals had sex. And she wanted to know why the male always got to be on top.

Emma (3:39p):  
That explains a lot about their positions then. Looked like reverse cowgirl with a twist.

Emma (3:40p):  
And David was the pretzel.

Regina (3:45p):  
You have bothered me for the past hour Swan. The time has changed. I’ll humor you…. What time is/was it?

  
Emma (3:51p):  
Oh yeah! It's pool party time!

Regina (3:59p):  
I do NOT want half the town in my brand new pool, Sheriff Swan.

Emm (4:02p):  
I know I know. Community pools are disgusting cesspools. Filled with germs, urine, snot blah blah blah.

Emma (4:04p):  
A family pool party wouldn't be too bad though right?

 

Regina (4:06p):  
Did you forget our son is related to most of the town? He probably has too much family as a matter of fact.

 

Emma (4:07p):  
How could I forget? I had to help him with his family tree project for school.

Emma (4:08p):  
That was hella hard, woman. Miss -I'm too busy being a sexy mayor- Mills.

Emma (4:10p):  
The title of the slideshow was “A Swan-Mills Production". Catchy huh?

Regina (4:15p):  
I suppose I could live with it.

Regina (4:16p):  
Not that I have to live with it as though it was my name or anything.

Regina (4:25p):  
It's not the worst last name in the world I suppose.

  
Regina (4:30p):  
Not that we're ready for that step. We're are only 2 weeks into this relationship.

Regina (4:43p):  
Although, you should know that I do not plan on ending this anytime soon.

Regina (4:50p):  
Unless you do something to mess it up. We both know it would be your fault. I'm perfect LOL

  
Regina (4:55p):  
Ok. I am not perfect. Pot. Kettle. I get it.

Emma (4:57p):  
Ginaaa! Why are you blowing up my phone?

 

Regina (5:00p):  
Disregard my texts for the past hour. Where did you go?

Emma (5:02p):  
I read them already. I got held up.

Regina (5:04p):  
What kind of police force are you? Why didn't you tell me earlier! I could've helped!

Regina (5:05p)  
Who held up a gun to you?!

Regina (5:05p):  
Tell me Swan!!

Emma (5:06p):  
Will you calm down? I'm fine.

Regina (5:07p):  
I AM CALM!

Emma (5:08p):  
Riiiight. There was no shooter! It is just a figure of speech, woman!.

Regina (5:09p):  
Since when?

Emma (5:10p):  
Since ever.

Emma (5:10p):  
Like way before you created this crazy town where Disney characters roam free.

Regina (5:12p):  
What were you doing then? I don't appreciate my texts going unanswered, Miss Swan.

Emma (5:13p):  
Hey, I have a life over here too. I can't always answer your texts as soon as you send them.

Regina (5:14p):  
*eyebrow raised bitmoji*

Emma (5:15p):  
But since you asked …. I locked myself in the storage room.

Regina (5:16p):  
Are you trying to surprise me? It's not working.

Emma (5:18p):  
Uh, rude. Anyway, Henry and David came in after going to the park and laughed hysterically through the door. Neither one could stand up to even let me out.

Emma (5:19p):  
The best part was that Henry peed his pants

Regina (5:21p):  
You should be ashamed of yourself for thinking that funny. He must have been embarrassed.

Emma (5:23p):  
Don't worry. I helped him out and let him put on clothes from the lost and found box.

 

Emma (5:25p):  
He looked like a lady-killer in that floral dress that looked like it was worn on “Swingtown".

  
Regina (5:26p):  
I love that show!

  
Emma (5:28p):  
I know. We should watch reruns on our date night this weekend.

  
Emma (5:30p):  
Can Henry still stay with MM and David when we have a date night?.

 

Emma (5:33p):  
I mean, _if_ we have a date night?

Emma (5:37p):  
And believe me. I would love to flaunt you in public and take you somewhere incredible, but a night in with just you, your cuddles and corny swingers sounds great.

 

Regina (5:38p):  
Oh, Miss Swan. Trust me, we will have countless dates for that. And I cannot wait to experience life with you by my side. 

 

Regina (5:39p):  
But for the last time, I don't cuddle.

 

Emma (5:41p):  
Well…Way to reel in the sweetness. Besides... I haven't seen you stay on your side of the couch lately sooo….

 

Regina (5:42p):  
Careful, Swan. And it's my house so the entire couch is _my side._

 

Emma (5:45p):  
Ok. Ok.

*hands held up in surrender bitmoji"

And I'll table pool party for now if we can binge watch Swingtown Saturday night.

 

Emma (5:46p):

Cuddles are optional

 

Regina (5:50p):  
Deal. Tomorrow night leave Henry with your freaky parents.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. The Creeper

**Sunday, July 22nd**

 

**Regina** (3:01am)  
Emma are you awake?

**Regina** (3:03a)  
Wake up Miss Swan!

 

**Regina** (3:07a)  
I hear something in the house.

 

**Regina** (3:12a)  
I proofed into Henry's room and he's asleep.

 

**Regina** (3:13a)  
Wake up! I think something is in the attic.

 

**Regina** (3:14a)  
It’s probably a rodent. I don't do rodents, Swan.

 

**Emma** (3:15a)  
You told me you have transformed yourself into a rat before in your sexy Evil Queen days.

 

**Regina** (3:16a)  
So? Rats are small. This could be a feral raccoon.

 

**Regina** (3:17a)  
What took you so long? I need you to investigate immediately.

 

**Emma** (3:19a)  
How about it's the middle of the night. I'm sleeping. G’night.

 

**Regina** (3:21a)  
Get over here! I think I just heard it creep down the attic ladder.

 

**Emma** (3:22a)  
Oh please. They aren't crazy enough to do that, Gina.

 

**Emma** (3:23a)  
Raccoon families would rather live for years in the attic being sneaky and crap.

 

**Regina** (3:25a)  
Are you saying there is more than one? Oh. Gods. Bless. Storybrooke. Why aren't you over here yet?

 

**Regina** (3:30a)  
Answer me, Sheriff.

 

**Emma** (3:31a)  
Giiinnnaaa!!! It's too early for this. You have magic damnit!

 

**Regina** (3:32a)  
I would appreciate it if my so-called GIRLFRIEND came to my rescue and stopped giving me sass.

 

**Emma** (3:33a)  
Just sayin…if u wanted me there u shouldn't have kicked me out tonight.

 

**Regina** (3:34a)  
Maybe if you weren't such an idiot then I would've allowed you to stay the night.

 

**Emma** (3:35a)  
You knew I was an idiot when u met me.

 

**Regina** (3:36a)  
And from the first night you arrived you knew that I did not like to share what was mine.

 

**Emma** (3:37a)  
I . Was. JOKING! I don't really want us to be like the characters on _Swingtown_ , woman.

 

**Regina** (3:37a)  
I don't care. You were wrong for even thinking it. Just get over here. Now!

  
  
**Emma** (3:38a)  
Bossy much?  
And fyi I would NEVER want to swing with another couple. I ain't letting anyone touch you like that. 

**Emma** (3:39a)  
Besides me. Ever.

 

**Regina** (3:42a)  
Emma come check the house. I hear tiny claws scratching my expensive flooring.

 

**Emma** (3:43a)  
Ughhh…I really don't wanna get out of bed. Where are u now?

 

**Regina** (3:44a)  
Back in my bedroom, alone. I left Henry sleeping with his door shut.

 

**Emma** (3:45a)  
Good. Now just relax.

 

**Emma** (3:45a)  
At least it's not a raptor that can open doors ;p

 

**Emma** (3:46a)  
Make sure the door is locked LOL.

 

**Regina** (3:47a)  
I don't have a lock on my door.

**Regina** (3:47a)  
Em-ma! Come over. I need you. What if it attacks me?

 

**Emma** (3:48a)  
With what? It's itty bitty hands? You'll be fine. Just fireball him.

 

**Regina** (3:49a)  
I don't want smoked rabid raccoon guts splattered against my walls Swan.

 

**Regina** (3:51a)  
I don't know why I let you worm your way into my life. You are useless. Why won't you help me?

 

**Emma** (3:51a)  
I AM helping!

 

**Regina** (3:52a)  
You are refusing to come to my aid. I pay you to protect the town and this is the treatment I get as mayor AND the woman you are dating?

 

**Emma** (3:53a)  
It's what u get for sending me home tonight.

 

**Regina** (3:54a)  
You were being annoying. Henry wanted to sleep in his bed anyway.

 

**Emma** (3:55a)  
He can't have everything he wants. Quit spoiling him.

 

**Regina** (3:56a)  
You were here when he called and asked to come home.

**Regina** (3:56a)  
You should blame your father for trying to give him “the talk" with vegetable props.

 

**Emma** (3:57a)  
Hey! I had to sit through the same talk 2 weeks ago when I told him about us dating.

**Emma** (3:57a)  
I'll never be able to look a cucumber in the eye again :(  
I liked cucumbers.

 

**Regina** (3:58a)  
I already gave our son the talk.

 

**Emma** (4:00a)  
Thank you Cuz I called “not it”

**Emma** (4:02a)  
I'd rather watch David demonstrate how to please a cucumber. Or how to eat a fuzzy peach.

**Regina** (4:02a)  
What kind of talk was this?!!  
Poor Henry!

 

**Emma** (4:03a)  
It was bad, Gina. Real bad.

 

**Regina** (4:04a)  
I still hear the rodent. It's probably pacing outside my bedroom. Waiting to strike.

**Emma** (4:05a)  
Just ignore it. I'm going back to sleep. Use ur magic when it figures out how to open your door.

**Emma** (4:06a)  
Or finds a vent.

  
**Regina** (4:07a)  
When you get here you can sleep beside me in bed.

**Regina** (4:07a)  
After you slay the beast of course. You may even get breakfast.

**Emma** (4:09a)  
Why didn't you say that?  
OMW now.

**Emma** (4:10a)  
When I get there I'm solving this bedroom door lock problem too. I would hate for Henry to barge in while you're in a compromising position or naked.

 

**Regina** (4:12a)  
I always sleep in pajamas when Henry's here, thank you.

**Emma** (4:13a)  
Not while I am in bed with you you won't be.

 

**Regina** (4:14a)  
Presumptuous much?

**Emma** (4:14a)  
Absolutely.

**Regina** (4:15a)  
Shame it took you so long to come to your senses.

**Regina** (4:16a)  
I've never had to work this hard for a booty call, Miss Swan.

**Emma** (4:17a)  
This is a booty call? Damn.

**Emma** (4:18a)  
Is there even something creeping in the house?

**Regina** (4:20a)  
We could be creeping if you hurry.

**Emma** (4:21a)  
U need to work on ur lying habit.

  
**Emma** (4:22a)  
I hope that big ass coon comes to get you b4 I get there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When your day sucks...Watch a   
> little swanqueen crack, squeal over Lana's   
> upcoming movie, and write   
> about your  
>  favorite ship.  
> I figured you all deserved a   
> quicker update  
>  than the last time.  
> Thanks again  
>  for reading this randomness. 
> 
> *mwah*


	9. Twerk-a-Thon

Emma:  
We need to discuss the dwarves’ new plan for a fundraiser.

 

Regina:  
Excuse me? What fundraiser? Why haven’t I heard of this?

 

Emma:  
Probably because it should be illegal.

 

Regina:  
How did you hear about then, Sherriff?

  
Emma:  
I heard people talking on my way to work.

 

Regina:  
You should pay no mind to the hungover dwarves in Granny's.

 

Emma:  
Um. I don't think I mentioned the diner, Gina.

 

Regina:  
You didn't need to. I know your routine Princess Bear Claw.

 

Emma:  
They are delicious. And I run them off anyway.

 

Emma:  
And I don't appreciate being judged by my girlfriend.

  
When u want to discuss the assortment of icecream in ur freezer let me know.

 

Regina:  
Whatever, Swan. This is not about me.

 

Emma:  
Thought so.

  
Regina:  
Are you going to tell me about this fundraiser?

 

Emma:  
It's called…

 

Emma:  
Wait for it…

 

Regina:  
Child. SMH.

 

Emma:  
“Whistle while you twerk-a-thon”.  
And Leroy asked me to help.

 

Regina:  
Twerk. Isn't that what I caught you doing last week?

 

Emma:  
I don't think that was me.

 

Regina:  
You were watching a how-to video on YouTube.

  
Emma:  
Could've been anyone. You're getting to that age when you start to forget things.

Regina:  
Oh it was most definitely you. I found you in MY living room.

  
Regina:  
It wasn't exactly the best either. Are you sure he asked you?

 

Emma:  
Hey, Lady! I've got moves ok?!

 

Regina:  
Of course you do dear.

 

Regina:  
Who searches for such things anyway?

 

Emma:  
I've seen your search history woman. Do you wanna play this game?

 

Regina:  
You've seen nothing.

 

Emma:  
Oh Babe. I took a screenshot.

 

Regina:  
You're bluffing.

 

Emma:  
Tell me Regina, _do_ panda's fart?

 

Regina:  
How should I know?

 

Emma:  
I think you do.

 

Emma:

Buuut. You can tell me later. Let’s get back to the twerk-a-thon.

 

Regina:  
Ugh. Fine by me.

 

Emma:  
Lol! I just imagined you saying that like an upset Ross from _Friends_. After the breakup.

 

Regina:  
Get back on track you dork. I'm busy. When is this “fundraiser" supposed to be held?

 

Emma:  
Maybe in the next month or so.

 

Emma:  
What u gonna wear to this thing anyway?

 

Regina:  
Oh no, dear. I will not be attending this wannabe twerk fest.

 

Emma:  
Oohhh. #sbtwerkfest.

 

Regina:  
Don't encourage this, Sheriff.

 

Regina:  
And for the love of God DON'T. Post. Anything!!

 

Emma:  
So… what are you wearing?

 

Regina:  
I already told you I am not going.

 

Emma:  
I meant what are you wearing now.

 

Regina:  
Um. Khakis?

 

Emma:  
Nice try Chad from accounting.

 

Regina:  
Who's Chad?

 

Emma:  
Gina, come on! EVERYONE knows that commercial! It's basically universal!

 

Regina:  
Who watches commercials anymore?

 

Emma:  
Idk but that one was a classic!

 

  
Emma:  
So sexy outfit is TBA. Got it.

 

  
Regina:  
Still not going. You can't make me. 

 

  
Emma:  
Don't you wanna see Hook and Leroy booty poppin for the ladies?

 

Regina:  
Hell to the naw. That's nasty.

 

Regina:  
To what poor charity does the money raised go to?

 

Emma:  
Club Enchanted.

 

Regina:  
That is not a charity. There is also no such business in town.

 

Emma:  
Exactly. Leroy says Storybrooke is lacking a proper supply of stripper poles.

 

Emma:  
He’s telling everyone that he had the idea after someone caught him being your creepy backyard voyeur.

 

Regina :  
Wait. He spied on me?!!

 

Emma:  
Don’t worry. I punched him out when I overheard him.

 

Regina:  
He deserves worse. How did see me? You said he was in the backyard? It's impossible.

 

Emma:  
It's possible. I told you that you need an extra enchantment to keep people out.

 

Emma:  
But u were like, “No. I'm a better person now. What if someone needs me?” Blah blah blah.

 

Emma:  
It was only a matter of time before someone saw you in the pool.

 

Regina:  
He spied on me while I was in the pool?!!

 

Emma:  
Apparently. He hid behind the hedges. That's what he's telling people at least.

 

Emma:  
The jerk. Your body in that bikini is for MY eyes only.

 

Regina:  
Oh God! I'll never be able to wash his beady eyes off of me.

 

Emma:  
Ok. I have a plan.

 

Regina:  
What is it? I'm dying over here.

 

Emma:  
Create a memory potion that replaces his memories of you with someone else.

 

Regina:  
That's actually not a bad idea, Miss Swan.

 

Emma:  
Thanks. I have my moments.

 

Emma:  
What if you make him remember Granny swimming in a bathing suit?

 

Regina:  
Add Whale in a speedo.

 

Emma:  
Yeah. That's just gonna make him sick.

 

Regina:  
Ha. I know! And Granny could be sunbathing.

 

Emma:  
HAHA. That'll work.

 

Regina:  
Naked.

 

Emma:  
Ok. Don't go overboard here. U trying to give him a heart attack?

 

Regina:  
Maybe. Maybe not.

 

Regina:  
That hairy puny pervert is going to pay!

 

Regina:  
Even so… when the potion is ready you need to slip it into one of his ever present beer glasses.

 

Regina:  
He will then remember more unpleasant events.

 

  
Emma:  
Damn, Gina. Bossy much?

 

  
Regina:  
You knew that before we started dating Miss Swan.

 

Regina:  
Besides, I don't want to give him the satisfaction of imagining me in a string bikini before he takes the potion.

 

Emma:  
Makes sense.

 

Emma:  
After I get a video of his reaction to his new memories I'll help him plan the twerk-a-thon.

 

Regina:  
Why are you still in favor of this?

 

Emma:  
Picture this: You in a tank top and those skimpy jean shorts with my purple plaid shirt tied around your waist.

 

Regina:  
I'm not competing in this farce.

 

Emma:  
So? You’d still look at great at my side as you cheer me on.

 

  
Regina:  
You shouldn't compete either, dear. After all, I saw your practice session.

 

Emma:  
Moves, Gina. I'm telling you I’ve got moves.

 

Regina:  
You've got the moves of a sloth.

 

  
Emma:  
Jt's not a competition in skill anyway. It's a twerk ‘til you drop kind of thing. I won't be the worst ya know.

 

  
Regina:  
Ok. Ok. Put your pout away. I'll let it go then.

 

  
Regina:  
And I thought you didn't want anyone to see me in those shorts?

 

Emma:  
I've reconsidered. I'd love to get to show the guys what they can't have.

 

Emma:  
I'll have the smartest, sassiest, sexiest milf in America on my arm and there's no one that compares to you, Babe.

 

  
Regina:  
Stop calling me that!

 

Emma:  
Oh, please. Regina you are THE ultimate milf. Don't doubt yourself.

 

  
Regina:  
Could you BE anymore like a teenage boy?

 

Emma:  
Could you SOUND anymore like Chandler Bing?

 

  
Regina:  
Enough of the Friends references! Don't make me regret this.

 

Regina:  
You better impress me on the dance floor, Swan.

 

  
Emma:  
I will, Gina. Don't worry.

 

Regina:  
If not I'll have to show you exactly what I'm capable of.

 

Emma:  
Ok. I admit. I suck. Show me, show me!

 

  
Regina:  
All in good time. You will not get a preshow.

 

  
Emma:  
So you say.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know it has been FOREVER! I'm sorry guys!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me! 
> 
> Insta: @chelseanacole


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